Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Basket

I woke up this morning with an urge to purge, emotionally. I have set out to and have made some accomplishments in making our lives healthier and more responsible little by little, yet this is quite a large task. I have a "Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde" in me - One the one hand, i have goals that are wonderful and i take them on, head on. On the other hand, as i realize the long term committment, i become anxious, and i cut corners because i become too overwhelmed. This is not foreign to me. It is how i was raised. Without getting into boring detail, let it suffice to say that just as there are babies who start off with caregivers who have a basket of "goodies" to share (life skills, prosocial values, uncomplicated love), there are babies who start off with caregivers who are children themselves in many ways. So, here i am, having woven my own basket with bits and pieces of knowledge i've acquired along the way, much like a bird builds it's nest. I have twigs, random pieces of thread, a shiny ribbon, some other cool, disjointed stuff. Here i am, trying to fill this eclectic, sometimes uber-strong, sometimes so whispy, basket - with values and pro-social behaviors that were always preached but not necessarily practiced by adults i was exposed to as a child. My hope is to have a sturdy and full basket to let my little ones hold, enjoy, partake from, and eventually have.

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